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Victory Strategies Senior Director, Tom Dorl, shares the frequent sources of misunderstanding amongst teams that can cause conflict in a 2-part series on miscommunication.
In the first part of the series, we examined how miscommunication often begins with what leaders say and how they say it. A lack of clarity, specificity, and awareness of differing communication styles can distort even well-intentioned messages. But communication breakdowns don’t occur only at the point of delivery; they also occur at the point of reception.
In this second part, we turn our focus inward - examining how personal barriers, unchecked assumptions, and unintentional listening habits shape what is heard, interpreted, and acted upon.
1. Personal barriers and assumptions
Communication is not purely logical; it is a human and social endeavor. Stress, frustration, or even excitement will shape how messages are delivered and received. Leaders under pressure may speak abruptly without realizing it, and some may misinterpret brevity as frustration or disapproval. Emotions can cloud judgment and amplify misunderstandings.
Assumptions are another trap. If someone responds with a quick 'OK,' it can be interpreted as disregard when, in reality, the sender is simply busy or addressing a more pressing issue at hand. When leaders or teammates fill in gaps without confirming intent, the risk of misalignment increases. Effective leaders resist assumptions and build habits of seeking clarification.
• Pause before responding emotionally —avoid reacting in anger or frustration. Simply put, think before you click “send” or respond.
• Don’t assume intent; clarify meaning when messages are brief or unclear. Remember that both the sender and receiver bring their own intent and interpretation.
• Use trusted peers or advisors to check your perspective before reacting.
2. Listen to learn, not just to respond
Strong communication isn’t only about speaking well; it’s also about listening with intention. However, many leaders overlook Habit 5 from Dr. Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Rather than utilizing empathetic listening to understand the other person's frame of reference, “most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
When leaders are distracted or rushing to the next item or issue, they may miss valuable information and unintentionally signal to their teams that their voices don’t matter. In today’s fast-paced, digital environment, distractions are everywhere and constant. Checking emails during a meeting, glancing at texts or mentally rehearsing your next comment while someone else is speaking can lead to avoidable mistakes and erode trust.
When leaders demonstrate and practice active listening, they set the tone for the team. Remember, your team is watching not only what you say, but also what you do. Be deliberate and model the behavior you expect from others.
• Remember that we have two ears and one mouth - listen twice as much as you speak.
• Resist the urge to interrupt. Let others finish their thoughts and listen to learn versus to respond.
• Demonstrate engagement by asking questions and reflecting back what you’ve heard.
Final thoughts
Miscommunication is common, but it is not inevitable. By familiarizing yourself with style differences, using precision in your words, managing emotions, and listening with intention, you can significantly reduce misunderstandings and fortify trust within your team.
As leaders, we are constantly teaching others through our words and actions. Every interaction — whether in a formal meeting, hallway conversation, or a virtual check-in—is an opportunity to improve clarity and reinforce team alignment. Teams that communicate well not only avoid mistakes; they move faster, make better decisions, and build stronger bonds.
Clear communication is a leadership responsibility, not a passive outcome. Take inventory of how you and your team communicate. Model the behaviors you expect to see, remain open to feedback, and create the conditions for clarity and trust. The payoff is substantial: fewer conflicts, stronger collaboration, and a culture where clear communication fuels performance.
Authored By: Tom Dorl, Senior Director
#VictoryStrategies #Communication #Misunderstanding #Clarity #Context #CommunicationStyles
Citations:
Covey, S. R. (2013). The 7 habits of highly effective people: Powerful lessons in personal change. Simon & Schuster.
